Hard is Only Half the Story: The Role of Taking Steps of Faith in Spiritual Growth - with Wendy Zahorjanski

[00:00:00] The unknown can strip us down to the core. That's what it did to me. But that's actually

[00:00:09] an opportunity for the Lord to enrich our lives, to get rid of some of the junk, to rearrange

[00:00:13] some things and then to fill us up with more of himself in some of the places that maybe

[00:00:20] we weren't willing to let him go before.

[00:00:26] Being a step into the unknown can be scary and yet when you do so, if you're led by God

[00:00:32] it can lead to incredible growth spiritually and great benefits for your life.

[00:00:37] My guest on this episode is Wendy Zahoryanski. Wendy is a missionary in Serbia where she

[00:00:43] lives with her husband who is Serbian. I first met Wendy and her husband Danny back when

[00:00:48] I lived in Hungary. They were studying at Bible College and since that time they've

[00:00:53] moved to a city in central Serbia called Kragvjevac. They have planted a church there.

[00:00:59] I recently got to visit Wendy and Danny and see their church and I'm excited for you to

[00:01:04] hear about God's work in Serbia and in their lives.

[00:01:07] Wendy recently wrote a book about her experiences stepping into the unknown. Prior to moving

[00:01:13] to Serbia she also spent time in Central Asia so she talks about the important role

[00:01:17] that taking steps of faith plays in our spiritual growth and our relationship with God.

[00:01:24] I hope you'll enjoy this conversation. I'll be back at the end with some final words.

[00:01:33] Well Wendy, thanks for being a guest today on Theology for the People.

[00:01:37] Yeah, I'm excited. I'm glad to be here. Thanks for having me.

[00:01:40] So Wendy, we know each other but for the sake of our listeners tell us about yourself

[00:01:44] and about some of your journey up until this point.

[00:01:47] Sure, I grew up in, well I'm a halfling so half West Coast, half East Coast.

[00:01:53] Born in Arizona but we moved when I was 10 all the way to Vermont so

[00:01:57] lived there till I was 19 from my really young age. Even before the age of 10 I

[00:02:03] felt like I was called to be a missionary and I wanted to live overseas so that was

[00:02:09] kind of my dream. Kind of got lost a little bit in high school and tried to do other things

[00:02:14] but I couldn't get away from it. So that's a depressing way of saying it but I just couldn't

[00:02:18] I couldn't, the feeling never went away and so when I was 19 I didn't really know what

[00:02:23] I wanted to do with my life or how to get to my goal of being a missionary and my brother

[00:02:31] who was living in Kyrgyzstan at the time as a missionary was talking to me and he said,

[00:02:37] well why don't you just move here and figure it out? And I said why not? I couldn't think

[00:02:42] of a reason to say no so I said why not and I moved there and that was my first cross-cultural

[00:02:48] experience at the age of 19. So I lived with them for six months and that really opened my eyes to

[00:02:55] not only a different culture but also talking with people who had no concept of Christianity in

[00:03:02] general and so I hung out with a couple Muslim girls at that time they didn't know what the

[00:03:07] Bible was they didn't know who Jesus was even they weren't um yeah they were more nominal Muslims so

[00:03:15] anyway I'd never been in that situation and I realized that if I wanted to dedicate my life

[00:03:20] to this and to talking about this book and to talking about this man Jesus that I better know

[00:03:24] what I'm talking about first of all and then I better be sure sure sure that I believe it.

[00:03:28] So that kind of led me to go to Bible college to get more training and I chose the one in

[00:03:34] Hungary Calvary Chapel Bible College Europe and I ended up staying there for three years I did the

[00:03:40] two-year Bible college program and then the one-year internship that's where I met my husband who was

[00:03:44] Serbian and he as he started sharing his heart to come back to central and southern Serbia

[00:03:51] that's kind of when the Lord broke my heart for Serbia as well it just fit into what I knew

[00:03:55] that he had called me to as when I was single and then kind of as we started dating and

[00:04:02] then we're talking about getting married his call really fit into mine so that's really

[00:04:06] when it had a pat been we moved to northern Serbia and then we moved our way down and now

[00:04:09] we're in central Serbia and we've been here since 2012 church planting. Yeah and what do you think

[00:04:16] is unique about Serbia like what is unique about ministry in Serbia and what's the

[00:04:22] unique setting and what does church look like etc? Oh it's a good question it's probably hard for

[00:04:28] me to answer because I haven't I don't feel like I've had enough experiences with enough different

[00:04:34] cultures maybe to know what's unique but what's been different for me from the American context

[00:04:40] for sure is that it's a much more collective society than individualistic so even the way

[00:04:46] that they read the Bible is much more group oriented I noticed the way that they view their

[00:04:51] faith it's a mix so some of it's them and God but a lot of it's their community

[00:04:56] and God so something like being well they would say converting so East Serbian Orthodox is the

[00:05:03] main religion so for somebody to come to our church was is a Protestant church would be considered a

[00:05:08] change of faith for Orthodox people so that would be different from my culture that would see those

[00:05:13] things as probably more similar and that causes them to be rejected from their social group

[00:05:21] which I found in Serbia is a much bigger deal than maybe other places because it's so

[00:05:27] that is so important and it's so much a part of their identity their family and then they're like

[00:05:32] tight knit social groups so to be kind of kicked out of that or to be ostracized is really

[00:05:38] really devastating for them that would be a difference and they just um sit and talk and

[00:05:45] drink coffee probably more than other cultures that I've been in they'll just hang out or

[00:05:50] if a visitor comes they'll just spend the whole afternoon with somebody you know they just I don't

[00:05:54] know they love they love hanging out they love when new people come and when guests come

[00:06:00] yeah what struck me when I was there recently with you guys was just that like the

[00:06:04] lack of Protestant representation and I realized it's a majority Orthodox country

[00:06:12] but I've been to a lot of majority Orthodox countries that have like still some Protestant

[00:06:18] or Bible church type of representation and it just seemed to be like completely lacking in

[00:06:25] you know south of Belgrade so like north of Belgrade seems to be a lot of that but south it seems like

[00:06:31] like what you guys are doing in your city which is a pretty large city and yet I think

[00:06:36] you guys are like the only Protestant group in town right yeah we have so we live in a city

[00:06:42] that's 200,000 people it's the fourth largest in Serbia and you're right once you hit south

[00:06:47] of Belgrade then everything stops it's like an invisible border and we are there's one other

[00:06:54] tiny Protestant group that they don't meet in a home so it's not a home group but it's probably I don't

[00:07:00] know five or seven people and the pastor comes from about an hour away every week or every other

[00:07:05] week I'm not really sure I know he used to come every week so they meet there would be a

[00:07:09] Protestant group and there was an evangelical church but the pastor passed away five years

[00:07:16] ago and I think it was only one family even when the pastor was still alive so those would be the other

[00:07:22] two rapes and then we're the yeah yeah yeah how much do you think like the war that took place in

[00:07:29] the 90s like how much does that affect the way that like people are so ingrained in you know

[00:07:37] being Orthodox and that's a big part of their identity as Serbs yeah well which war first of

[00:07:43] them all because there's been so many but it really is true that's a good question and so going back even

[00:07:50] to the when the Ottoman Empire was a reality up until Belgrade was under the Ottoman Empire for

[00:07:56] 500 years but somehow the Serbians maintain their identity in the sense that they maintain

[00:08:02] the Serbian language and being Orthodox for 500 years under such a cruel they lost well a lot of

[00:08:09] them were killed because of that they had to be really high taxes there were a lot of things that

[00:08:14] were discouraging them from taking that route and just to it would have been a lot easier to convert

[00:08:19] but they didn't so somehow that's like in in them there's this stubbornness that can be really

[00:08:25] frustrating but it's just in it's I don't know that's how they've really maintained their

[00:08:31] identity and so I think even the wars after that have kind of almost been a replay of those

[00:08:38] things somebody coming in with some ideology that's different than theirs World War two when

[00:08:45] Nazi Germany came through you know the leaders signed to be allies with them and the people revolted

[00:08:53] because it wasn't what they agreed with so then you get into the 90s and then you get

[00:08:57] even into the conflict with Kosovo and that's the whole thing but there's a lot of religion

[00:09:03] being Croatia and Serbia too so it's always mixed really mixed in and the Serbians are very

[00:09:09] fiery if I could describe them in one word it would be fiery and they're really stubborn so

[00:09:17] I almost see a

[00:09:21] like a turning a turning their back to the west in a sense that they're

[00:09:26] and yeah that they just want to they're almost rebellious like it's this rebellious thing in

[00:09:32] them so it definitely affects every level of even yeah especially the wars in the 90s too were

[00:09:38] kind of a replay of that and them trying to maintain who their national identity but a lot

[00:09:44] of times in not a healthy way so both sides did it but I see that and I don't I'm not sure

[00:09:52] that those wounds have ever been healed it's something that is very much still real for people and

[00:10:01] they don't feel like they were recognized for the things that were done to their nation

[00:10:06] and that they have become in the world's eyes the terrorists or the bad guys or the ones who

[00:10:13] led this genocide but they they don't know from talking to a lot of them they don't feel

[00:10:17] like their side of the story is recognized so I know that also really affects the way they act

[00:10:23] in the present that it's almost like they're trying to demand to be heard and sometimes it

[00:10:29] can be too forceful for other cultures that don't maybe don't have that directness yeah

[00:10:36] and what do you think like the average Serb who identifies as orthodox like what is their

[00:10:40] actual faith life look like I mean is there a lot of religious practice or is it more of

[00:10:46] a nominal thing what does that look like yeah I think the average one no there wouldn't be a lot of

[00:10:53] practicing it one thing that I don't know I shouldn't say percent because I don't know but

[00:10:58] everybody that I know who Serbian so it's a huge percent is that they all celebrate the

[00:11:05] celebration of their patron saint so every family has a patron saint and a patron saint

[00:11:10] goes down through the suns so the sun inherits the patron saint of his father

[00:11:14] and then there's one day on the calendar for each of these saints and you have a big celebration

[00:11:19] like a huge Thanksgiving dinner and you invite family and friends over everybody does that

[00:11:23] and that's tied in to the saint and the church you go to the church to bless a certain kind of

[00:11:29] bread that you make for that day and some people have the priests come over and do like

[00:11:34] a blessing on the house for that day yeah that's a big one a lot of people would probably go for

[00:11:40] Christmas to church there's Christmas Eve where they burn in oak branch in the yard of the church

[00:11:46] and that's a really big ritual for people that even those who are more nominal would do

[00:11:53] and maybe Easter like Christmas Easter and then that one other patron saint day but most of them

[00:11:58] do not they'll go to church maybe to light a candle to pray for somebody that would be the common

[00:12:04] things that that I can think of but praying by themselves no reading their Bible no

[00:12:09] interacting with a priest probably not questioning what their faith means no

[00:12:17] yeah so I know when you guys went into the city one of the things you first did was you

[00:12:22] started a Bible club and I thought that's actually brilliant because it sounds like culturally

[00:12:28] there's an affinity for the Bible and like a trust in the Bible so if you can reach them on

[00:12:33] that level of like hey let's read the Bible and see what it says how did that go for you

[00:12:39] yeah we did it was slow it was so painfully slow everything we've done is slow but it actually

[00:12:45] was a really good thing I think because it made sense to people we called it and we had

[00:12:49] Bible workshops is what we called them and basically it was just Danny going verse by

[00:12:54] verse to explain the Bible and then the end there would be time for questions that people

[00:12:59] had so we didn't do any singing we didn't do anything else in the beginning that was it and it was

[00:13:07] also because we were coming out of Bible college as theologians that's what and so that made sense

[00:13:12] for people too that we as theologians would be teaching teaching the Bible and so we had a

[00:13:18] few students come and they had really good questions and they actually really enjoyed

[00:13:23] coming they said because they could actually talk to Danny was much more approachable than some

[00:13:28] of their other experiences with clergy within the Orthodox Church so that encouraged them to come

[00:13:34] they liked that the Bible was taught in a way that can be understood a lot of the liturgies are in like

[00:13:40] old Serbian or even the old like Slovenian language it's difficult to understand and if

[00:13:47] you've ever been in a liturgy it's like they sing it kind of so it's kind of hard to

[00:13:52] win the echoey church to understand what they're saying even if it is scripture

[00:13:56] so they appreciated that I remember and we also had a group of homeless people come for a while

[00:14:01] and just listened so it was a mixed bag but I do think that it was a good way to have a first step

[00:14:07] in the city. So Wendy you've written a book called Hard is Only Half the Story and it's

[00:14:13] subtitled as Real Adventures from My Journey Into the Unknown so obviously this is like your

[00:14:19] missionary autobiography and maybe tell us a little bit about like what is the book about

[00:14:24] what is it that you hope that people will get out of it? Sure yeah I wrote it's all the book is

[00:14:31] each chapter is a true story for my life in my cross-cultural experience and what I wanted to do

[00:14:37] was to show a realistic picture of what it looks like to move into the unknown so my

[00:14:45] example of the unknown was a different culture but it could be for somebody else maybe a change

[00:14:49] of job moving across the country it doesn't have to be a culture but I wanted to show just how

[00:14:55] the unknown can strip us down to the core that's what it did to me but that's actually an opportunity

[00:15:01] for the Lord to enrich our lives to get rid of some of the junk to rearrange some things

[00:15:05] and then to fill us up with more of himself in some of the places that maybe we weren't

[00:15:11] willing to let him go before so that's what like in a nutshell it is and I just wanted

[00:15:17] to encourage people first of all that to take the first step to go into the unknown but also that

[00:15:25] that the unknown won't destroy you. Yeah so how has your experience on the mission field and stepping

[00:15:32] into these unknown places how has that shaped your understanding of God and maybe your relationship

[00:15:38] with God? A lot I mean so it's in so many ways it I kind of pull also an aspect of that

[00:15:46] from each of the stories in my book so one of the stories that I talk about is when my son was born

[00:15:55] and I had him here in Serbia and kind of that whole journey really taught me to look back over

[00:16:02] my life and the paths that the Lord has led me on to and find the treasures what I say and not

[00:16:07] just to see like the the hardness of the of the path that that he's called me on and to

[00:16:14] see how he had actually gone before me to remove like some of the things in my way or the obstacles

[00:16:20] or the logs and and make it easier even though it's not easy but there are ways that he has

[00:16:27] gone before me is what I'm learning and seeing so that was one thing I would say that it's taught

[00:16:32] me to look back just in a way that he I call him my path maker in that chapter that he really

[00:16:38] is my path maker that he makes the path before me and then he walks the path with me and that

[00:16:43] he really is that he is beside me but also goes before me in the unknown so that was something

[00:16:50] and I think just in general it's really deep in my trust in him because I've seen over and over again

[00:16:56] no matter what all these situations that I've been in or learning a new language or saying

[00:17:01] stupid things I mean you know because you've learned a language too that you're put in

[00:17:05] situations where you feel stupid and you look stupid and some people are questioning I think

[00:17:10] this person really is stupid they're not sure because you kind of sound um unintelligent in

[00:17:15] in the second language but that the Lord was faithful no matter what I was in this whole

[00:17:19] different context but the Lord was the same it was the same God that I had known completely

[00:17:25] different group of people but somehow like the same truths of who God was were coming through and so

[00:17:30] that really deepened my trust in him that okay no matter what that he's the same and even though

[00:17:36] my whole world changed even though I don't know how to do anything even though everything's so different

[00:17:41] he is the same and that's really comforting being in surrounded by new things yeah you know the title

[00:17:50] of your book it reminded me of a quote that I heard a long time ago from David Livingston who

[00:17:55] was a missionary to Africa so in 1857 he what what he would do is he was a missionary to the

[00:18:02] interior of Africa he started out in South Africa which is where a lot of the missionary

[00:18:07] work was going on but a lot of people hadn't explored the interior of Africa and so he

[00:18:12] went into the interior and he explored it mapped it out but he also preached the gospel and

[00:18:19] established Christian communities throughout the interior of Africa but he would often also he

[00:18:24] was kind of a celebrity in those days and so he would go back to England and he would do these

[00:18:29] tours and oftentimes they were like university tours and so he would speak to university students

[00:18:34] and so in 1857 David Livingston spoke to students at Cambridge University and one of them asked him

[00:18:41] like how did you make such a big sacrifice like how could you sacrifice you know so much you

[00:18:48] know your comfort and all these things to live in that place and so his famous quote was this

[00:18:55] he said for my own part I have never ceased to rejoice that God appointed me to such an office

[00:19:01] people talk of the sacrifice I've made in spending so much of my life in Africa is that a sacrifice

[00:19:07] which brings its own blessed reward in healthful activity the consciousness of doing good peace

[00:19:12] of mind and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter away with the word in such a view

[00:19:18] and with such a thought it is emphatically no sacrifice rather it is a privilege anxiety

[00:19:24] sickness suffering or danger now and then with a foregoing of the common conveniences and

[00:19:29] charities of this life make us pause and cause the spirit to waver and the soul to sink but let

[00:19:35] this only be for a moment all these are nothing when compared with the glory that shall be revealed

[00:19:40] in us and for us I never made a sacrifice so it's like his famous quote was you know I never

[00:19:47] made a sacrifice because everybody thought of you know what he was doing as such a huge sacrifice

[00:19:52] and kind of like reminds me of your title right hard is only half the story yes it's hard but

[00:19:58] what God does in you through it and what God is doing through you in it is absolutely transformative

[00:20:07] for you and for the world and it's in the end I think you would say it's worth it yes yeah

[00:20:15] definitely yeah I often say that yeah he said it yeah yeah you know that um like if you would

[00:20:20] ask Paul the apostle like hey Paul was it hard right because he talks about how hard it was especially

[00:20:26] in second Corinthians he would say of course it was hard that's not really the question right was

[00:20:30] it worth it and I think the answer would be emphatically yes and and kind of that's what I

[00:20:36] I got out of your book as well yeah yeah I think that I'm a much richer person because

[00:20:43] of having lived here that I've gained so many things that I could never have well maybe never

[00:20:48] but that I just didn't have before and I've learned so many things and I've been able to adopt things that

[00:20:54] are ways of thinking that are different than mine that I wouldn't have been exposed to in Vermont or

[00:21:01] a different even a different way of scripture in a group or some of these things you know

[00:21:08] worshiping in a different language singing in a different language there's just some

[00:21:12] each culture really does have something that they're good at I believe really good at

[00:21:17] and then it carries over into the spiritual world too and so I just yeah it really is a privilege to

[00:21:22] be able to live here and to be in a different culture so that I can kind of see also when you step out

[00:21:27] of something you see some things more clearly so it's yeah amazing to be able to be in that position

[00:21:34] to be able to pick up things that are better than the way that that I had thought before and

[00:21:41] just really rich I feel so enriched by my experience and by living here.

[00:21:47] What do you think are some of the theological implications of this idea of following God into

[00:21:52] the unknown? Yeah we had when I first started writing the book the focus was supposed to be

[00:22:00] a little bit different than it actually ended up being as I was writing and one of the things

[00:22:04] that we had talked about me and my editor and then when I was brainstorming also with

[00:22:09] Danny my husband was this idea that God in heaven Jesus in heaven leaving the heavens and becoming

[00:22:18] a man on earth was him entering in an unknown in a sense of being a man he had never been a man

[00:22:26] before and so even in that when we enter into the unknown Jesus has gone before us so we can

[00:22:33] trust him we can trust that voice that is either telling us to step out or encouraging us as

[00:22:38] we're forced into an unknown or a new thing that we really can't trust him because he's done it

[00:22:44] before us and he has just that verse that always comes back that he really his throne is a place of

[00:22:51] grace and it's a place where we find help when we're in need and all we have to do is come

[00:22:56] before and ask so that would be a big one and then another idea that is also in there is

[00:23:03] just this idea that when we are if there's that verse in Isaiah that says that you are my witnesses

[00:23:10] says the Lord and my servant who I have chosen that you may know and believe me and understand

[00:23:16] that I am he and that was also the idea that God doesn't call us into the unknown or into

[00:23:24] ministry or into serving him which we're all serve him in some capacity or should be

[00:23:30] but we all have the opportunity to serve him in some capacity that that calling isn't just for us to use

[00:23:37] it's we're not like a tool that he uses and then puts away that we're actually when he whatever

[00:23:43] he's calling us into it's also for us to know and believe who he is in a deeper way in a more

[00:23:50] broad way in from a different angle maybe and that's definitely been true in my life and I was

[00:23:57] trying to through my stories kind of share that too that we can and that also causes deeper trust

[00:24:05] because he cares about us as a whole person it's not just to use us it's not just to

[00:24:10] further his kingdom in the sense of that we are just like a pawn in his game or whatever

[00:24:18] but really he cares about the work that we're doing but also that what's going on inside and

[00:24:23] that's what he wants to transform through also after uses what we're doing or what we're called to

[00:24:29] but those are kind of two big ones then yeah yeah so what would you say to somebody who's not

[00:24:35] necessarily involved in cross-cultural missions like you are maybe it's somebody who says you

[00:24:39] know I'm not sure if I'm called to that I'm not sure if there's an open door maybe I'm

[00:24:44] you know I've got other things that God has placed before me at this time in my life

[00:24:49] how can they experience the same kind of transformation and growth in faith in their setting

[00:24:55] yeah it's a great question and I think partly everybody needs to sit before the Lord by themselves

[00:25:01] and ask him maybe because he will tell us if we come before him with a heart that really is open

[00:25:10] it's saying I want to serve you and I want to know what you have for me what do you have

[00:25:17] that he will answer but I also think that the unknown is all around us and it's

[00:25:24] even if it's not a culture it's very difficult to enter into so crossing over into a new friend

[00:25:30] group is really intimidating hanging out with people that maybe aren't our type of people that

[00:25:36] we necessarily would be our first pick to hang out with or

[00:25:41] or you know going to I mean I don't know going to a block party on your street but maybe

[00:25:48] you're not that kind of person I don't know you're an introvert or I don't know it's a silly

[00:25:52] example but those kind of all those kind of things can be the unknown and even if it seems silly

[00:25:58] I don't think they are I think that every steps that we take to step into something

[00:26:02] that's new for us are different can really be enriching and it really is a great opportunity

[00:26:07] to learn more about ourselves and more about who God is so I would also challenge people to look

[00:26:12] around them and just to maybe see what are some things around them that maybe they might want

[00:26:20] to step into or maybe they could step into what would that look like what opportunities do they

[00:26:25] have you don't have to go somewhere that's far away you don't need to go on like a short

[00:26:29] term mission trip even to have an experience it's like this probably more practical to start

[00:26:33] right where you are and then kind of to move out and see where the Lord takes you yeah

[00:26:39] yeah so your book is full of kind of these transformative encounters that you had through

[00:26:44] stepping out into things that were unknown to you maybe you could just finish off our talk today

[00:26:50] by sharing one of those that was particularly relevant to you and how God used it in your life to

[00:26:56] shape you in a way that was you know like you said heart is only half the story

[00:27:01] so yeah I'll choose one that was an example of something that I didn't realize I carried inside

[00:27:07] myself that was really damaging that I would actually have said was a strength before so I tell

[00:27:12] the story of in one of the chapters um the chapter is called scribbles I think we changed

[00:27:19] the name of that chapter several times but I think it's scribbles yes scribbles okay just found it

[00:27:25] yeah and the whole chapter is about really my language learning journey and about how when I

[00:27:31] moved to Serbia the reason I wanted to learn the language was to share the gospel and that was true

[00:27:37] and it was my only motive all I wanted to do was to be able to sit with someone and in Serbian

[00:27:43] share the gospel and to talk about spiritual things but slowly um as the years went by

[00:27:49] after I don't even know how many year five or six years probably

[00:27:53] and I was getting less four years probably and getting to the point of being fluent this weird

[00:27:59] thing happened with my motive and all of a sudden um I wanted to be better than any all the other

[00:28:05] foreigners at speaking Serbian and that became my new goal and I didn't even realize it I didn't

[00:28:11] even realize it until I was sitting with the lady and uh she looked at me and she said you know

[00:28:16] you speak Serbian better than all the other foreigners that I know and we knew the same

[00:28:21] foreigners and it was like I did it I had done what I wanted to do but all I wanted to do was throw

[00:28:28] up after so it was the worst feeling because in that moment I got what I wanted and I realized

[00:28:37] that it was the worst thing that I could have wanted for these people were my friends

[00:28:44] several of them were there serving the Lord too and really struggling to learn the language

[00:28:50] and here I was like trying to make myself seem better but I was really pushing them down in the

[00:28:56] process and I just realized that I have a tendency to be super competitive and in the body of Christ

[00:29:03] that can be really damaging that I can slowly twist things to become the better one to become

[00:29:09] the smartest person in the room to even just the tiny bits silly things walking

[00:29:15] carrying water from the garden from the stream to the garden and I'm just a little bit ahead of

[00:29:20] the other lady I'm carrying water with because it's like this you know it's so in me that I just

[00:29:27] need to be first even if it's by a little bit but um it was in that moment that I realized

[00:29:34] for the first time how damaging it was and that I wanted to get rid of it and asked the Lord

[00:29:39] really for help so I don't always stop like in those times to kind of reflect on what does it mean

[00:29:47] or what am I learning about myself but that's how I actually did and I really feel like the

[00:29:53] Lord freed me he really freed me from that and he just brought me back to where I was before to

[00:29:59] have the motivation to speak Serbian well so that I could share the gospel so I kind of see

[00:30:05] it springing up in other areas of my life I don't think it's completely dead that competitive side

[00:30:11] of me that's not of the Lord and I'm still working on it but in that area it really is dead it really

[00:30:17] is a victory I don't remember the last time I thought about oh man I speak so much better than

[00:30:22] all the other foreigners that I know so for me that was a big a really big deal

[00:30:29] excellent yeah so I mean uh I love missionary biographies I know

[00:30:33] my wife does as well and so if any of our listeners are looking for a good missionary

[00:30:37] biography Wendy how can people connect with your writing and find your book online yeah so the

[00:30:42] easiest way to get my book would be on Amazon it's on Amazon so you can just type in hard is only

[00:30:48] half the story or my first and last name if you can spell it but it will probably be in the

[00:30:53] show notes Wendy Zacharyansky yeah I also have a website which is my first and last name

[00:31:00] wendy zacharyansky.com or people can just follow me on Instagram I'm the only Wendy Zacharyansky

[00:31:09] so they shouldn't be able to find me that's nice and that would be a good way just yeah it is nice

[00:31:15] so those are those are probably the main ways for the book Amazon if you want to follow me

[00:31:18] and kind of more about my writing journey Instagram would be the best place awesome hey

[00:31:23] Wendy thanks so much for your time and for being on the show thanks for having me

[00:31:32] thanks for listening to this episode of theology for the people new episodes are released every

[00:31:37] Wednesday so make sure to subscribe to the podcast on whatever app you use in the next episode I'll

[00:31:42] be speaking with my friend and colleague Mike Neglia about how journaling can be a spiritual

[00:31:48] discipline we also talk about the role of spiritual disciplines in general and how to

[00:31:53] intentionally take steps that lead to growth and good fruit in your life and in your relationship

[00:31:59] with God theology for the people is a listener supported program if you have enjoyed or been

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[00:32:22] and God bless you