Feeling Seen: The Calling of Nathaneal

00:00:00 Speaker 1: You have searched me, and you know me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You perceived my thoughts from Afar Psalm one thirty nine one and two. Dear Lord, thank you for being a god who sees you see our rising and are falling. You have numbered every hair on our heads and know our anxieties, fears, and insecurities. Our flaws are not hidden from you, yet you love us anyway. Every sin and dark part of our hearts are exposed before you, Yet you still died for us. We are completely known and unconditionally loved by you. Thank you, Lord. There is not a person on this earth whose love and attention can match yours. To day, we pray that we would walk as confident people, free from the insecurity of feeling hidden or unknown. You see us, walk with us and call us to great things. May we walk boldly to day In Jesus name, we pray, Amen, Thank you for praying with me. 00:01:28 Speaker 2: To day. 00:01:29 Speaker 1: You are listening to the Jesus Podcast stories inspired by the life and ministry of Jesus. To day we take another look at a gospel inspired story to find peace and mental health. Let's begin follow this podcast on whatever platform you're listening to. Doing so will keep you updated, but also help us get discovered by more people. We want the story of Jesus to be known throughout the world. Thanks for making that possible. Nathaniel marched up the hills outside the walls of Bessade. Each step was torturous as he wrestled with a whirlwind of emotions. His eyes were brimming with unshd tears. Each blink was a silent battle, a determined effort to keep his sorrow at fay. Nathaniel had always been known as a man of integrity, skill and honor. He had never intentionally hurt or deceived any one. But as Nathaniel walked away from the city, he couldn't help but question it all. He had given so much of himself, but was slighted at every opportunity. He served every one, but received no recognition or appreciation. He felt invisible, alone, and misunderstood. Nathaniel summitted the hill, overlooking Bessade. Waiting for him like an old friend, was a solitary fig tree. Nathaniel sat under the sprawling canopy of leaves. The fig tree was his sacred space, his haven from the pressures of life. He sat underneath the shade of its branches, listening to the lullabyes made by the wind and the leaves. 00:03:36 Speaker 2: Am I a good man, he whispered. 00:03:43 Speaker 1: Nathaniel didn't desire fame or clout. He simply wanted the feedback that he was here, loved and known. Nathaniel had always been burdened with the weight of expectations. He carried the trouble of those round him on his shoulders while neglecting his soul. He felt invisible, hidden by the problems others placed upon him. Everyone knew of Nathaniel, but no one really saw him. As the early colors of dusk stroked over the hills, Nathaniel prayed to God. He prayed with earnest, pure and passionate questions. Nathaniel wondered if God saw him. He wondered if God cared about his suffering, hopes and dreams. 00:04:41 Speaker 2: Do you see me, Lord? Or am I invisible to you? 00:04:46 Speaker 1: Nathaniel refused to cry. His body shook from holding back his anguish. He felt weak and unseen, but wouldn't show it, not even in solitude. He buried his head between his legs and sighed. The wind picked up slightly, causing a few leaves to fall under Nathaniel's shoulders like feathers. 00:05:15 Speaker 3: If only my burdens were as lie as they leaves. 00:05:20 Speaker 1: After composing himself, he stood up and retreated to the city. 00:05:27 Speaker 4: If you have ever played Hide and Seek as a kid, you know that sense of anticipation as you wait in hiding and the exhilaration of being found. As we grow, not only physically but mentally and emotionally, the idea of hiding may not come with the same sense of excitement. In fact, maybe we're afraid we'll always be left hidden, never to be found by others. Jesus says in Luke nineteen, for the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost. While feeling hidden may come with pain and loneliness, there's still an excitement to feeling found. Praise God that Jesus sees you and wants to know you. This is the Jesus Podcast. I'm Zach frompray dot Com. Thanks for joining me today as we dive into another outcast encounter. Today's story is about feeling seen, known, and understood. Moments ago, we were introduced to Nathaniel, also known as Bartholomew, He was born in the city of Cana, the same city where Jesus performed his first miracles, turning water into wine. He was your ordinary member of society in the town of Beseda, a small fishing community on the Sea of Galilee. Yet despite its size, a good and upright citizen like Nathaniel was left feeling marginalized, always like a stranger. In his unmet desire to be acknowledged, he sequestered himself to self appointed solitude. Loneliness often compounds when we feel unwonted and unloved. We tend to hide away from others, making us feel even more unwanted and unloved. Little does Nathaniel know that, in a cosmic game of hide and seek, his years of waiting to be noticed were about to change. At first, we'll see Nathaniel was opposed to the idea of meeting Jesus, feeling that it would just be another instance of putting a facade for others. But as we dive deeper into our story, I want you to think about places in your life where you felt unseen, unnoticed, and unheard, and then allow yourself to relate to Nathaniel as an outcast ready to be found. 00:07:25 Speaker 1: Desk was approaching, and every merchant in the marketplace was packing up to leave. Vendors closed up their carts and loaded their donkeys. Nathaniel trudged through the market, avoiding eye contact with anyone he recognized. He wanted to retreat to his blankets and hide away from the world. He rounded the corner and bumped into a close friend, Philip. Philip wasn't like Nathaniel. While Nathaniel always presented his best self, Philip enjoyed it, eracked with the world truthfully. If Philip had questions, he asked them. If Philip didn't understand something, he spoke up. Philip was perfectly content to look like a fool if it meant he could discover something new. Nathaniel had trouble with such things. He lived in the world with a mask of perfection. He never showed vulnerability for ignorance. As a result, nobody truly knew the honest Nathaniel. They didn't see him as he was, only as he presented himself to be. Nathaniel hiding his inner turmoil forced a smile. 00:08:48 Speaker 2: Ah, Chalom, Philip, how are you? 00:08:52 Speaker 1: Philip smiled like he had a surprise for Nathaniel. His eyes shone with concealed delight. 00:09:00 Speaker 5: Nathaniel, what are you doing tonight? I have someone I want you to meet. 00:09:06 Speaker 1: Philip's invitation shot Nathaniel in the heart like an arrow. He didn't feel like performing for anyone or putting on another false smile. 00:09:15 Speaker 2: He was exhausted. 00:09:18 Speaker 3: Ah, is this just another preacher. It's been a long day and the last time I joined you to see the baptizer. The man spoke for hours. 00:09:27 Speaker 1: Nathaniel hadn't mastered the art of replying with a simple no. He was too concerned about what others thought of him to draw boundaries. Instead, he danced around the word. 00:09:39 Speaker 3: Perhaps you can have him visit my shop tomorrow. I'd love to introduce him to a few of my clients. They could help his movement. Oh, maybe I could, Nathaniel. 00:09:51 Speaker 1: Philip interrupted his feet nearly flew off the ground in excitement. He came close and held Nathaniel's shoulders. 00:10:00 Speaker 5: This man I want you to meet, his no ordinary rabbi. He is the one Moses wrote about in the Law. He is the one whom he prop is foretold. 00:10:11 Speaker 1: Nathaniel rubbed his face and forced another smile. Philip was a kind man, but tended to exaggerate. When John the Baptizer began his ministry, Philip wondered if he was the Messiah. Now, apparently there was a new object of Philip's infatuation. But Nathaniel couldn't show his doubt. He couldn't say what he thought. Instead, he continued the conversation, trapped in a self destructive loop of people. 00:10:40 Speaker 5: Pleasing Ah, what's his name, Jesus of Nazareth. He's the son of Joseph the carpenter. Ha ha. 00:10:51 Speaker 1: A loud sort of laugh accidentally popped through Nathaniel's chest when he heard the word Nazareth. Nathaniel had a long day. His patients and manners were eroding. 00:11:03 Speaker 2: Philip, I'm sorry. 00:11:05 Speaker 3: At first, you follow a man who wore camel fur and dunked people in the middle of the water, and now you're telling me the Messiah is a carpenter's son from Nazareth. 00:11:15 Speaker 2: Do you know what happens in Nazareth? 00:11:18 Speaker 3: Crime and in the small pockets of time when someone isn't getting robbed, people are hauling. 00:11:23 Speaker 2: Stone from the quarry. 00:11:25 Speaker 3: You're telling me the Messiah has come from the city of Twigs. 00:11:29 Speaker 2: I mean can anything good come from Nazareth. 00:11:32 Speaker 1: Nathaniel paused and dropped his head. He was embarrassed by his outburst. It was unfair, It was unlike him. Nathaniel wasn't the type to shut anyone down or insult some one's horn, but the day had been long and he just wanted to sleep. 00:11:52 Speaker 3: Philip, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. 00:11:56 Speaker 5: Come and see for yourself, Nathaniel, Come and see what I mean. 00:12:00 Speaker 1: Philip was calm and sure of his words. His child like joy was still present, but there was also something else behind his smile. 00:12:12 Speaker 2: Faith. 00:12:14 Speaker 1: Philip spoke as if God had parted the heavens and confirmed it himself. Nathaniel rubbed his eyes, paused, and nodded. 00:12:27 Speaker 2: Lead the way. 00:12:28 Speaker 1: Nathaniel was curious to meet the man who had given Philip that look in his eye. The sun retreated and to the horizon the clouds had captured the final rays of light, radiating a dark orange like giant oil lamps. Nathaniel followed Philip outside the city to the sea. A large fire was made on the sand, surrounded by familiar faces, James, John, Andrew, and Simon. They stood around the fire, laughing and enjoying each other's company. There was another man among them. He wore the clothes of a craftsman. His smile reflected the warmth of the flame, and his laugh filled the air like the melody of a beloved childhood's song, familiar and comforting. Before Philip could introduce Nathaniel, the stranger looked at him and. 00:13:26 Speaker 6: Said, Ah, Nathaniel in Israelite, in whom there is no deceit, a truly good man. 00:13:33 Speaker 2: Welcome. 00:13:35 Speaker 1: Nathaniel paused. Insecure and invasive thoughts flooded his mind. How could the stranger know that Nathaniel was a good and honest man? How could he have known those were the exact words he needed to hear. He cocked his head to the side. He was sure he had never met this man before, but perhaps his memory had betrayed him. Ah, how do you know me? The man stepped forward, his grin now entirely illuminated by the firelight. 00:14:09 Speaker 6: I was with you under the fig tree before Philip caught you. I saw you, Nathaniel, you saw me under the fig tree. 00:14:18 Speaker 1: Nathaniel's voice cracked. Nobody knew about the fig tree. It was a place for him to be alone with his thoughts, and to pray to Ah. 00:14:30 Speaker 2: Could he be? 00:14:31 Speaker 1: Nathaniel felt his emotional walls shaking. The guard he had put up was crumbling stone by stone. There was only one explanation for this man seeing Nathaniel under the fig tree. This man somehow heard Nathaniel's anxious and insecure prayers to God. Perhaps something good had come out of Nazareth after all. Nathaniel's knees buckled, and the tears he had held back for you years finally broke through. His tears soaked the sand below Jesus's feet as Nathaniel declared. 00:15:09 Speaker 3: Rabbi, truly you are the son of God. 00:15:14 Speaker 2: You are the one we've been waiting for. 00:15:18 Speaker 1: Nobody had ever seen Nathaniel break like this. He was the best among them, the steady and unshakable Nathaniel, but being known by Jesus melted away the mask of perfection, allowing him to finally breathe. He was unburdened and light. Nathaniel broke down at Jesus' feet, gripping the sand tightly in his fists. He had tried so hard to be strong for others, but somehow along the way he lost himself. He wasn't sure anyone would ever understand him, including himself. Yet Jesus had seen him. Jesus heard his prayers of doubt and fear. Jesus had seen his darkness and insecurity. Yet he still called Nathaniel a good man, a man without deceit. Nathaniel didn't feel like a man without deceit. But perhaps Jesus was calling him up to something instead of declaring what he already knew to be true. Perhaps with time, Nathaniel could learn to live honestly before others and God. Jesus knelt to Nathaniel and placed a firm hand on his shoulder with a friendly chuckle. 00:16:52 Speaker 6: Jesus said, ha, you believe because I told you. 00:16:57 Speaker 2: I saw you under a fig tree, my friend. 00:17:00 Speaker 6: And you'll see far greater things than that. I tell you this, Nathaniel, you will see heaven open and angels ascending and descending on the son of man. 00:17:13 Speaker 1: Nathaniel looked up at Jesus with watering eyes and nodded. His life would never be the same again. 00:17:26 Speaker 4: Life is full of tension and competing desires. As we navigate each day, we face conflicting emotions, thoughts, and feelings. One of these internal conflicts is our hope to be seen. In our desire to feel safe, to be known often means to be vulnerable. We want to feel connected to others, sure, but we also have this physiological need to feel safe, and sometimes those feelings are at odds with one another. Being in community means to be vulnerable, and we don't want to feel vulnerable. Being seen also means to be exposed in some sense. It means allowing others to see what's happening under the surface. To be known for the depths of your heart, the intricacies of your mind, your troubles, your worries, and your fears you see. This tension creates an unhealthy dichotomy of what we're feeling inside and what we allow other people to see on the surface. For a lot of us, our interactions are skin deep. We put on masks and hide who we really are because we feel like if we expose ourselves to others, they're not going to fully accept us. But there's a terrible cycle to all of that. When we don't allow ourselves to be fully known, we don't feel the full acceptance of people, and so no matter how many companions we have around us, we're always going to feel lonely, and that loneliness will lead us to make some pretty unhealthy decisions. Left unaddressed, these types of tensions will pull us apart until we're at the end of ourselves. This is the very issue that torments Nathaniel. Before he meets Jesus, he felt unseen, unheard, unloved, invisible. Jesus's ministry was marked by a recurring theme of finding people and allowing these two sides of themselves to be integrated in to one. As he traveled from city to city, he would take time to not just be around people, but to truly be with them. Jesus sat and talked with sincere interest. He listened and gleaned with undisrupted attentiveness. Jesus didn't come to Earth for fame and accolades. Jesus came to seek and save the lost. He came to see us, to know us, relate to us, and bless us. Maybe you've been feeling a little bit like Nathaniel lately, doing everything you can to live a good life, but rarely left feeling seen. You might feel like you're standing in the dark corner of a room, out of sight and out of mind, but Jesus sees you, my friend, He sees all of you, and on top of that, he loves you with every ounce of love that he has to give. Here's a profound truth for you. Cling to this reality with dear life because it's the essence of life and growth in Christ. You are completely seen and known by Jesus. All of your flaws, all of your darkness, all of the thoughts that you keep from others, those parts of you, in those things that you truly love, those dreams that you have for the future, they are all laid bare and seen by Jesus. Yet in the midst of all of that, you're accepted and unconditionally loved by him. That is a beautiful, beautiful reality. Jesus sees everything. He sees all of your flaws, in your sins, the darkest parts of you. And there's so much of us that we hide from others because we think we won't be accepted. But Jesus sees it and he accepts you, and you're not just left there. He sees you, but he's also going to draw the best out of you. Perhaps that's a new thought for some of us, that we can be fully known and still fully loved. If that's you, I want to encourage you to reframe your associations with what it means to be seen, where once we may have equated it with the possibilities of judgment, rejection, or weakness. And Jesus we can feel justified, accepted, and strengthened when we open up to Him and give him our entire lives. When the prophet and judge Samuel is sent to find out a young shepherd named David to anoint him as the next king of Israel, the Lord reminds him that he doesn't look at the outward appearance he considers the heart. The fear of being seen is only present when we're unsure of the thoughts others have towards us. But the Bible is filled with an array of God's wonderful thoughts towards you. He calls you beloved, his child, his friend, and many other beautiful identities. God isn't impressed with your successes, your accolades, your popularity with the world. He doesn't turn his attention towards you because you've drawn his gaze by making much of yourself. He finds you because he cares for you and wants to be with you. Though we were all lost to sin, we have been found in Him. We are His creation, made in his image, and that's more than enough for him. We have to allow God to renew our minds as we receive these types of affirmations through His word and in prayer. Don't be discouraged if it takes time. We have to allow new neurological networks to form in our brains as the spirit performs and new work in our hearts. What we used to associate is danger with being exposed and seen by others, we now have to see as an opportunity for growth and acceptance in Jesus. And that process will take a lot of time, and it will take diving deeply into the word of God so that you can remind yourself daily that God actually doesn't just love you, but likes you. He doesn't just consider you as a child. You're beloved. In our story, even Nathaniel has to break through these very same walls and patterns of thinking. All he wanted was to be noticed, and here was his chance to meet a man who was supposed to fill him with all of his heart's greatest desires. Yet in his mind he was opposed to the opportunity as a means to guard himself from disappointment. What if he put his best foot forward and it still wasn't enough to feel seen. But Philip wouldn't take no for an answer. That's because he had experienced the joy of being seen and known by Jesus himself, and he wanted the same for Nathaniel. Philip wasn't pushing Nathaniel simply because he thought he was right. He was pulling Nathaniel to come alongside him because he had found something in Jesus to be amazing. You see, once we felt the freedom of being fully known and loved by God, we'll want others to be released from the same depressions of hiding and being overlooked. To put this idea into a short phrase, found people find people. This would be the very mission of the twelve Disciples, including Philip and Nathaniel, as they would be sent to find the lost and lonely and preach the good news of the Gospel we read in the Great Commission of Matthew twenty eight. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I've commanded you, and surely I'm with you always, even to the end of the age. True joy from being found and known by God is a catalytic chain where individuals pull others into the community of God as he's building it around himself. In some ways, we all hide parts of ourselves. We hide from the outside world, only allowing certain aspects of ourselves to be fully known and seen the parts we think are the best. This ultimately leaves us feeling fragmented and afraid of letting our true colors out. But all the while, we still long deep down to be completely noticed and recognized by others. We want to be seen, heard, and embraced and encourage for who we are. We can take heart in the fact that God finds us and seeks us out, and we could be surrounded by other followers of Jesus who want to know and love us as well. It's important in our walk with the Lord that we forge genuine relationships and build trust and vulnerability with each other. It's a gift to feel like we belong amongst other believers. Getting here, though, takes time, and it requires that we feel safe. But soon enough we'll find peace of being known and fully accepted. Don't let yourself continue to be burdened by feelings of being unseen, whether you're in a season of stability or feeling like you're barely keeping your head above water. Our souls long to be seen and known by God and by others. Today, take small and actionable steps to feel known, to make yourself known, and to go before God honestly. You see, transformation only occurs when the real you is brought before the real Jesus. You have to understand who you are, bring yourself before the Lord and allow his love to have its full effect on your life. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Jesus Podcast, and our next episode, we're going to meet a man by the name of Matthew. Some call him Levi. Matthew is a tax collector and rejected by his own people because well, he's made a lot of mistakes in his life. But what will change once he's face to face with Jesus. Be sure to follow this podcast if you haven't yet, and share it with a couple of friends. We want to create a community of people that are stirred by great storytelling, but also transformed by meditations through the gospel stories. See you next time.