[00:00:00] Welcome to Sermon of the Moment, this is the show where we find some of the best
[00:00:04] Sermons out there and we share them with all of you to encourage and equip you to walk
[00:00:08] with Jesus.
[00:00:09] Today we're going to hear a sermon by Elevate Church in Limerick, Ireland, and this
[00:00:14] sermon was actually selected by my friend, Wavy Calper, a church planter in Limerick,
[00:00:19] Ireland.
[00:00:20] I'm going to let Wavy tell you why he picked this sermon.
[00:00:23] Here's Wavy now.
[00:00:25] I thought these sermons were particularly good because a lot of people struggle with
[00:00:32] mental health issues and the pastor, Dermit, he is very open and very honest in them about
[00:00:38] his own struggles.
[00:00:40] The things that he's been through, the things that he's faced, the things that he continues
[00:00:46] to face, in a way that I have very seldom seen from a pastor.
[00:00:52] He is very clear and open and honest about what he's been through, and then through that
[00:00:58] he has found principles of what the Lord has done and what the Lord has shown him of
[00:01:03] how to deal with his mental health issues that can be applied to other people, to people
[00:01:09] who are hearing the sermons.
[00:01:12] See I think it's very good mental health issues or something that are especially in Ireland
[00:01:22] not talked about a lot but very prevalent and even Dermit in the sermon he'll talk about
[00:01:27] that and he'll talk about the 52 or 53% of people who struggle with them in Ireland and 58%
[00:01:33] who know people who struggle with them.
[00:01:36] So yeah, it's just, it's a very big issue I'm not talking about enough and here's this
[00:01:42] good godly man who has been through this and is going through this, talking honestly
[00:01:47] and opening about his experience and about what God has shown him and what God has taught
[00:01:51] him and what he can bring to pastor his community and help them to learn about how God sees
[00:02:01] them and about how God can help them in their mental issues as well.
[00:02:07] Thanks, Wavy.
[00:02:08] Here's the sermon.
[00:02:10] It's called Escape Room Anxiety from Elevate Church in Limerick.
[00:02:15] I'm going to listen now.
[00:02:16] Good morning everybody.
[00:02:20] How are you?
[00:02:21] Hi, please.
[00:02:22] I kind of caught my off guard there.
[00:02:29] You're visiting, you're very welcome, my name's Dermit.
[00:02:35] You come on a great week.
[00:02:36] It's our last sermon in a series called Escape Room and if you're unfamiliar with
[00:02:43] Escape Room about the series really, I just want to give you a heads up that I think
[00:02:48] for a lot of people it's kind of been bringing up stuff and challenging them in a lot of
[00:02:52] different ways.
[00:02:53] It's been hard on me even bringing up some stuff and having to face some things and what
[00:02:59] I kind of want to emphasize at the beginning really is what I emphasized last week was
[00:03:03] if it is bringing up stuff we don't ignore it.
[00:03:07] Like really lean into it and find if it's a fresh or a counselor you need or a pastor
[00:03:12] or a carer whatever you need but don't not do something.
[00:03:16] Like don't just ignore it to seek out the help you need but for those who are visiting
[00:03:21] this kind of series come around by the Escape Room that are popping up all over Limerick
[00:03:27] and you might have been to under their rooms where you pay to get frightened.
[00:03:33] What a genius idea.
[00:03:35] You're paying somebody to stress you out.
[00:03:39] That's an incredible business model.
[00:03:41] You go into these rooms, you get clues, you work on tasks and with a team under certain
[00:03:47] time limit and you have to try and get out.
[00:03:50] That's what it does.
[00:03:51] It simulates this kind of excitement or this fear of having a sense of panic and it gets
[00:03:57] the adrenaline running and the heart racing and all these things and the feeling of being
[00:04:02] trapped and that's what you're paying for.
[00:04:04] This series is really about that's people's lives too.
[00:04:09] That when people feel like this in life there's nowhere from to run to, that every location
[00:04:14] and every spot they go to is in Escape Room.
[00:04:18] That they can't escape their anxiety because wherever they're run to it's right there waiting
[00:04:21] for them or they can't escape their depression because where they're run to it's right there
[00:04:26] waiting for them that it's just a part of their life and they each and every day they have
[00:04:30] to live with this.
[00:04:32] Your first week here you really need to go back and listen to the first two messages in
[00:04:37] this series because although they're not built on each other it'll give you a whole new
[00:04:41] context to what we're talking about.
[00:04:45] We kind of not discovered but been known that over half of the people in Ireland are going
[00:04:52] to personally suffer with some form of mental health issue and people in the church aren't
[00:04:56] immune to it.
[00:04:58] That nearly 60% of people in Ireland are going to deal with a friend or family member that
[00:05:03] struggles with mental health issues.
[00:05:05] That it's a very real thing for us all to be aware of and this series is our hope and
[00:05:11] our prayer throughout the series is that no matter what you believe, that you know
[00:05:16] that there's hope, that you know that there is a way out, that somebody does care about
[00:05:21] you.
[00:05:22] That's also what I'm going to share today, our mistakes I've made through kind of my
[00:05:26] journey and things I wish I knew long before now so I'm kind of giving you a heads up
[00:05:32] and things not to do for the point of a better word.
[00:05:37] Last week we approached a topic of anxiety and how anxiety for people is so difficult
[00:05:44] to deal with but in order for us to deal with anxiety we really need to take captive
[00:05:48] our minds.
[00:05:49] That unless we take captive our minds that all anxiety begins is about for the mind and
[00:05:55] Romans 12 verse 2 talks about renewing our mind, what are we exposing ourselves to?
[00:06:00] How are we going to make sure what we know on our mind travels to our heart?
[00:06:04] And today the approach we're taking is very similar to last week and it's a very similar
[00:06:08] thing we're going to do but today we're going to be talking on the topic of depression
[00:06:13] and how do you deal with it?
[00:06:15] How do I deal with it as a church and as a community, how should we deal with it?
[00:06:20] Because I think as a church you know a lot of times we can approach it in two different
[00:06:25] ways which is you know I'll pray for you wonderful we need to pray we absolutely need to
[00:06:30] cover that person in prayer but then what can we practically do to help people who are
[00:06:34] suffering with it?
[00:06:35] Now there's one disclaimer to this message.
[00:06:38] If you suffer from this depression you need to seek medical help.
[00:06:42] You need to do it.
[00:06:44] You need to go and see sometimes there can be a chemical imbalance or whatever it may
[00:06:47] be but you need to seek medical help.
[00:06:49] What I'm talking about in today's message is what to do after that, after you've done
[00:06:55] this because if there's if there's a chemical deal that you're facing the pressure with
[00:07:01] what we're talking about might help but it certainly isn't a place to begin.
[00:07:05] You need to seek medical help first and then apply these things because for a lot of us
[00:07:12] feeling depressed can be normal but what I want us to do is kind of the friendship between
[00:07:16] what depression is and it isn't.
[00:07:18] Now feeling sad is not depressed.
[00:07:22] We all feel sad.
[00:07:23] Feeling sad is a very very very normal part of life.
[00:07:27] It's something that we all experience.
[00:07:29] When sadness can be felt when a loved one dies or relationship ends or you know the
[00:07:34] stop making law in order, I mean I was really sad when the stop making it.
[00:07:39] But when you don't get a job or are able to college you apply for, you don't get it.
[00:07:43] Sadness is normal but the thing with sadness is this normally temporary.
[00:07:50] Sadness shouldn't last a long time.
[00:07:52] That even if you're sad oftentimes it can expand maybe into the realm of grief which is
[00:07:58] a little different.
[00:08:00] But feeling sad or even grieving it shouldn't last a long time and it's okay to face those
[00:08:05] things.
[00:08:07] If it lasts any longer you could be flirting in the area of depression and depression can
[00:08:12] be a very very serious thing because it not just affects us physically but obviously psychologically.
[00:08:18] And a simple pill isn't going to fix your depression.
[00:08:22] It's not a pill for every ill.
[00:08:24] You know a pill might might ease symptoms but it certainly certainly doesn't heal.
[00:08:29] And the physical effects of depression are often changes in appetite or aches and pains
[00:08:34] or low energy or things like that.
[00:08:37] But more so psychologically it's a low mood.
[00:08:41] It's like that feeling of hopelessness.
[00:08:43] It's that feeling of helplessness or guilt or irritability or difficulty making decisions
[00:08:49] or can't get out of bed.
[00:08:52] And my hope is that as a church if you feel that way you'll be met with understanding
[00:08:57] and grace and patience because everyone is there at some stage.
[00:09:02] So how do we as a church are we going to deal with that?
[00:09:05] And as a heads up or I guess an affirmation that if you're a follower of Christ you can
[00:09:11] still get depressed.
[00:09:13] Being depressed as a Christian doesn't make you bad, it doesn't mean you're doing something
[00:09:17] wrong.
[00:09:18] It doesn't mean that there's stuff in your life that you need to get rid of.
[00:09:21] Can it mean those things to charm?
[00:09:22] Does it normally know?
[00:09:23] It doesn't.
[00:09:24] See the best followers of Christ, all throughout scripture, are depressed.
[00:09:29] David 42 Psalms about his depression.
[00:09:34] Crying out the God for help.
[00:09:36] Wanton help.
[00:09:37] As a matter of fact the prophet Habakkuk, if you open up your Bibles there's some of
[00:09:43] your like there's a book in the Bible called Habakkuk.
[00:09:46] There's, come on guys, who has second service, low energy.
[00:09:49] Give us a, right, Habakkuk, verse 1 he's a prophet and Habakkuk writes this, chapter
[00:09:55] 1 verse 2, how long Lord must I call for help?
[00:10:01] But you don't listen.
[00:10:03] How many of you felt like that?
[00:10:05] See Habakkuk's feelings weren't reality when Habakkuk cried to the Lord.
[00:10:09] Was Lord listening?
[00:10:11] Was Lord listening?
[00:10:12] Yes he was but he felt like he wasn't.
[00:10:16] But you don't listen.
[00:10:17] Are you cry out violence?
[00:10:20] You do not save.
[00:10:22] Habakkuk was seeking God but yet he felt like God wasn't there.
[00:10:27] I mean, I think during depression a lot of times people seek out God but feel like they're
[00:10:32] alone and it's okay to wrestle, it's okay to wander or cry or to fight with God about
[00:10:39] what he's doing.
[00:10:41] We see it all the time in scripture.
[00:10:43] It's okay to question God's activity but not his identity.
[00:10:48] It's okay to question God's activity but not our another way of putting it is embrace
[00:10:53] the who, what you wrestle with the why.
[00:10:57] Embrace the who.
[00:10:58] You know who God is.
[00:11:00] Embrace that.
[00:11:01] But question, what are you doing?
[00:11:03] That's perfect for God isn't defended.
[00:11:06] Are he not insulted or he's certainly not put off when we wrestle with him?
[00:11:11] You're allowed to question what God does but you're not a no question who he is.
[00:11:17] You can question what he does and it's okay to do that.
[00:11:21] And when you're in an escape room but when you're depressed or anxious, no we want to do
[00:11:26] those things.
[00:11:27] You know, we want the question God.
[00:11:29] But what we have to be careful of if you follow our Christ this morning what we really
[00:11:32] need to be careful of is am I just looking for a genie in a battle to fix where I am?
[00:11:37] Am I just looking for so God to fix me but not be a part of my life?
[00:11:41] Our another way of saying this am I solely looking for a way out?
[00:11:44] Where am I looking for a way to let God in?
[00:11:46] Am I just looking for a way out of how I feel?
[00:11:50] Are my looking for a way to let God be a part of my life?
[00:11:54] Because when we cry out to God, fix us but don't be a part of my life.
[00:11:59] What we're telling him is I just want you to help me when I'm in need but not to be
[00:12:03] a part of what I'm doing.
[00:12:05] And we need to start taking note I think and appreciate everything God does for us.
[00:12:09] So God is active in our lives each and every day but do we notice it?
[00:12:13] Do we take the time to stop and give him praise for it?
[00:12:16] You know there's a there's a...
[00:12:19] Have any of you ever bought a car or went by a car?
[00:12:23] New or second hand?
[00:12:24] And you picked out the car you want it.
[00:12:26] Like a hand Pacific.
[00:12:28] And as soon as you pick out the car all of a sudden you see that car everywhere.
[00:12:33] Or you got to buy a watch or a piece of clothing or a smartphone.
[00:12:37] And all of a sudden you begin to see that phone everywhere.
[00:12:42] Now the number of cars that increase and the number of phones that increase is just
[00:12:46] your awareness of them increased.
[00:12:48] In sociology, the call it...
[00:12:50] I have to pronounce it...
[00:12:53] Semiconic awareness.
[00:12:56] And what happens is when we have a vested interest in something we begin to notice it.
[00:13:02] When we actually take note or take an interest in something like if I'm buying a hand
[00:13:07] or a civic, all of a sudden I see hand or a civics.
[00:13:10] And oftentimes when people look around they say God isn't anywhere he's not...
[00:13:14] You know he doesn't exist but have we taken the time and stepped back and have a vested interest?
[00:13:19] Holam he's working all the time.
[00:13:23] You see depression isn't selective by belief.
[00:13:26] Depression will grow in anyone who feeds it.
[00:13:29] You're all over scripture.
[00:13:30] It tells us do not worry.
[00:13:32] All over scripture tells us don't worry.
[00:13:34] And the reason it does that is worry if it's not dealt with will lead to anxiety.
[00:13:40] Anxiety if it's not dealt with will lead to chronic fatigue and fatigue leads to depression.
[00:13:45] And scripture tells us nip it in the bud.
[00:13:47] See, we're worried what we normally do.
[00:13:50] We try and fix it ourselves.
[00:13:52] Even when we have anxiety oftentimes we try and fix it ourselves.
[00:13:55] Oopsies.
[00:13:56] But if we can nip it in the bud and say no no I'm going to seek help.
[00:14:02] I'm going to seek God in this.
[00:14:04] Then we can avoid anxiety and depression.
[00:14:07] See with the time I've left what I really want to try and do is share with you the mistakes
[00:14:12] I've made and I wish I had known.
[00:14:16] Because if I had known these things back in the day, if I had known these things not only
[00:14:20] knew them have actually believed them and put them into practice.
[00:14:23] Thank you.
[00:14:24] Put them into practice thank you very much.
[00:14:29] And I would have saved myself a whole lot of issues.
[00:14:31] I would have saved myself a whole lot of anxiety.
[00:14:35] And I want you to know that if you are suffering with depression specifically like we're going
[00:14:38] to talk about, we know they're not easy but it's doable.
[00:14:42] The first thing I wanted to challenge and wish I had known was challenge your thoughts.
[00:14:49] Challenge your thoughts.
[00:14:50] See depression often twists our thinking.
[00:14:53] We talked a little bit about this last week.
[00:14:54] It twists our thinking.
[00:14:56] And what we do is we focus on our feelings rather than the truth.
[00:15:00] And oftentimes depression brings around a severe lack of hope.
[00:15:04] It brings lack of hope personally and relationally and professionally and socially.
[00:15:10] The problem is as we know we need hope to cope.
[00:15:13] In order for us to cope with life, we need to form a hope.
[00:15:17] We have to challenge our thoughts.
[00:15:19] What we expose ourselves is going to have the biggest impact.
[00:15:22] We said it last week, you can't watch 23 hours of tele and read your Bible for 20 minutes
[00:15:27] and think scripture is influencing you.
[00:15:29] It's not how it works.
[00:15:31] What we expose ourselves to influences us.
[00:15:33] So what are you hearing?
[00:15:35] What are you thinking?
[00:15:36] What are you believing?
[00:15:38] The battle for anxiety and depression all starts in the mind.
[00:15:41] That's why scripture says and Romans 12 renew it.
[00:15:45] Renew our minds.
[00:15:47] See we have to limit our exposure to the things we know, stress us out.
[00:15:52] We have to do it.
[00:15:53] We all know our triggers are what stresses us out.
[00:15:55] We have to limit it.
[00:15:56] Do you know the average 11-year-old today has the same anxiety as an adult in the 70s?
[00:16:03] Why does an 11-year-old today have that much anxiety?
[00:16:06] Because we're exposed to too much.
[00:16:08] We have to limit them.
[00:16:10] Parents limit them.
[00:16:13] Their children, tech iPhones, tech iPhones, whatever it is, limit them.
[00:16:17] Limit yourself.
[00:16:19] Our kids give Marina a little bit of a kick last night.
[00:16:22] Our daughter Samantha turned around and said, you're always on your phone.
[00:16:26] And Marie gave me a look at Samantha beautifully said, sorry you.
[00:16:30] And I was like, yes!
[00:16:33] But you know what?
[00:16:34] It was true.
[00:16:35] We are.
[00:16:36] Do we do I want my kids to remember me always being on my phone?
[00:16:41] No, I don't.
[00:16:42] So I'm going to have to stop that.
[00:16:44] I'm going to have to stop it because what we expose ourselves to as a matter of
[00:16:47] fact, open up your Bible to the second Corinthians.
[00:16:52] Second Corinthians chapter 10 verse 5 is going to be on the screen too.
[00:16:57] We demolish our arguments and set itself up against the knowledge of God.
[00:17:03] Here's the bit of underage.
[00:17:05] And we take captive every thought and make it what?
[00:17:10] Obedient the Christ.
[00:17:12] How do we make our thoughts obedient the Christ?
[00:17:15] We measure what we're thinking against God's truth.
[00:17:19] That's how you do it.
[00:17:20] You measure what you're thinking to God's truth.
[00:17:23] You see for years, as long as I can remember, I never remembered this not happening to
[00:17:30] me.
[00:17:31] That's how long this is going on.
[00:17:34] And the day, the kind of day I had, it didn't matter.
[00:17:38] I could have a great day or a bad day.
[00:17:40] The location would never matter.
[00:17:43] I could literally be in Hawaii or P in Limerick.
[00:17:47] The location would have no effect on this.
[00:17:50] But as long as I can remember, every morning I wake up, I shared a bit of depression.
[00:17:57] Every morning I wake up the first thought that pops into my head is kill yourself.
[00:18:03] Every morning 365 days a year.
[00:18:06] I don't know why it is.
[00:18:07] I've spoken to hundreds of people about it.
[00:18:10] Every single morning, that's what I wake up with.
[00:18:13] This morning, that's what I woke up with.
[00:18:15] I have to challenge my thoughts every single day.
[00:18:21] And I have a system now.
[00:18:23] I know how to manage it myself.
[00:18:25] But do you know what it's like to know you have a great life, a great family, kids,
[00:18:31] child, it's great?
[00:18:33] And to know you're going to wake up thinking like that.
[00:18:36] It's horrible to wake up thinking like that.
[00:18:39] And it's challenging my thoughts.
[00:18:41] Whoever knows me well knows I have the most outrageous days in music.
[00:18:44] It's horrible.
[00:18:45] I have such a broad range.
[00:18:47] I've playlist on my phone that I listen to each day.
[00:18:53] Depending on the day, some days are worse than others.
[00:18:55] But every single morning, I would listen to some music when I wake up to put my mind
[00:18:59] in a frame that I can challenge those thoughts.
[00:19:02] And I have to challenge them every single day.
[00:19:07] Because if I don't, then I know where it can lead.
[00:19:11] But I have to believe God's truth over my thoughts.
[00:19:15] And I don't know if it will ever stop.
[00:19:17] But what I do know is each and every day I wake up choosing a certain behavior.
[00:19:23] Because I need to renew my mind like Scripture says.
[00:19:26] Which leads me to the second thing that we need to do which I wish I had known was we
[00:19:30] have to make the decision that you want to get well.
[00:19:35] Make the decision you want to get well.
[00:19:39] There's a great passage of Scripture where Jesus goes to a paralyzed man.
[00:19:44] He'd been paralyzed for 38 years.
[00:19:45] He met him at the boot of the sheba.
[00:19:48] And he asked him a very strange question after he was paralyzed for 38 years.
[00:19:52] He asked them, do you want to get well?
[00:19:55] Why would he ask that?
[00:19:58] Because let's face it, some people love being miserable.
[00:20:02] They love it.
[00:20:03] They breathe on it.
[00:20:05] They're not happy if they're not miserable.
[00:20:08] So the question is, do you want to get well?
[00:20:11] Some people don't.
[00:20:13] Some people really don't want to get well.
[00:20:16] They like feeling sorry for themselves and they like the pity parties.
[00:20:20] See happiness isn't the result of our circumstances or perfect health.
[00:20:25] Happiness is a choice.
[00:20:26] Philippians four of us forces Paul tells us, rejoice in the Lord always.
[00:20:31] We're supposed to rejoice in the Lord all the time.
[00:20:34] We're only happy when everything's ideal.
[00:20:36] We're never going to be happy.
[00:20:38] You're somewhere in life you have to choose to be joyful despite of your problems.
[00:20:43] Jesus told us, as you know what in this world you're going to have troubles.
[00:20:46] It's going to happen.
[00:20:47] But be of good cheer and take heart.
[00:20:50] I've overcome the world.
[00:20:53] There's a book you can get on Amazon that I'd recommend you get.
[00:20:56] It's called Chicken Soup for the Soul.
[00:20:59] And Lady Bedanema Frances wrote, but she had a friend called Jerry.
[00:21:04] And Jerry was a restaurant manager and her and Jerry used to always go back and forth
[00:21:10] and she'd be sent to Jerry.
[00:21:11] How are you in a good mood all the time?
[00:21:14] She really taught him how to be kind of fake.
[00:21:16] And every time she asked Jerry how he was he'd say, if I were any better I'd be twins.
[00:21:21] That's what he'd say.
[00:21:22] And she would like you cannot possibly be happy all the time.
[00:21:26] She didn't believe it.
[00:21:28] And Jerry said, when I wake up in the morning I have two choices.
[00:21:30] I can choose to be happy or I can choose to be sad and I choose to be happy.
[00:21:35] Well Jerry was a restaurant manager and unfortunately the restaurant got robbed and he was shot
[00:21:41] several times.
[00:21:43] So he spent 80 hours in an operating theater, weeks in intensive care.
[00:21:50] And afterwards Frances went and interviewed him.
[00:21:54] And this is an excerpt from the book here's what he said.
[00:21:57] He said when I was lying on the floor I remembered two choices.
[00:22:02] I could choose to live or I could choose to die and I chose to live.
[00:22:05] The paramedics were engaged when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expression
[00:22:09] on the doctor's faces.
[00:22:11] I got really scared because their eyes read, he's a dead man.
[00:22:16] And I knew if I didn't take action it wasn't going to work out well.
[00:22:21] There was a big burly nurse shouting questions that me and asked, are you allergic to anything?
[00:22:27] As the question was asked the doctor stopped and the nurses paused waiting for a reply.
[00:22:32] He said yes I'm allergic to bullets.
[00:22:40] He said over the laughter I told him, I'm choosing to live, operate on me like I'm going
[00:22:46] to survive.
[00:22:47] See Jerry lived obviously thanks to the skillet of doctors but the God's grace he survived
[00:22:55] and Frances went to see him six months after the accident and she said to him how you do
[00:23:00] it and he said if I were any better I'd be twins.
[00:23:04] That's the mindset we have to have.
[00:23:07] It's choosing to be happy.
[00:23:09] Let me ask you do you want to get well?
[00:23:11] Do you want to?
[00:23:12] See Proverbs 23 7 says, as someone thinks within himself so he is.
[00:23:19] So he is.
[00:23:20] See choosing the opposite to what you feel is okay.
[00:23:24] Choosing the opposite of what you feel is okay.
[00:23:25] Write this if you're going to write anything down write this.
[00:23:27] Hypocrisy is not acting contrary to what you feel.
[00:23:31] Hypocrisy is acting contrary to what you believe.
[00:23:34] Right?
[00:23:35] Hypocrisy is that, see if I feel sad it's okay to be happy you know how you do it.
[00:23:42] That's okay but if I claim I have the joy of the Lord in me I know the truth.
[00:23:47] Christianity Christ is the only way to heaven and I'm walking around like I'm drinking
[00:23:50] vinegar.
[00:23:51] That's hypocrisy.
[00:23:52] Telling people that we have Christ, the Holy Spirit living within us, that we know the
[00:23:57] way to salvation and walking around miserable.
[00:24:01] That's hypocrisy.
[00:24:03] But man, a person said you know what?
[00:24:05] Life is good.
[00:24:06] That isn't hypocrisy.
[00:24:07] If we were to act how we felt all the time, see the truth is our feelings follow our actions.
[00:24:14] And if we act a certain way eventually we are beginning to feel it.
[00:24:17] It's not fake to put on a smile when your feelings are said.
[00:24:22] See you might feel like there is no hope but the truth is there is always hope in Christ.
[00:24:28] The last thing I want to encourage you to do, the last mistake I made that I had to
[00:24:33] change was have the courage to confront your depression.
[00:24:37] Have the courage to confront it.
[00:24:39] See the pressure in a lot of cases you know it can be caused by like a hope and something
[00:24:47] or in someone and when that goes away you kind of get depressed maybe a broken marriage
[00:24:53] or a loss of a job or a friendship or a death or whatever it may be rejection.
[00:24:59] When our expectations aren't met often times we feel depressed but the sad thing is a lot
[00:25:05] of people who feel depressed are people who have had their expectations met and it didn't
[00:25:10] bring them happiness.
[00:25:12] When I get this I'll be happy and there isn't happiness found in it.
[00:25:17] See that's why when you look at studies done of sex addicts or alcoholics or drug addicts
[00:25:22] or whatever it may be a lot of people in addiction are depressed.
[00:25:28] Not necessarily because they are addicted to something because they were told if they
[00:25:31] did not find joy and it's not there.
[00:25:35] So great question to ask a person and ask yourself with depression is what am I hoping
[00:25:39] in?
[00:25:40] Or was I hoping in and it let me down?
[00:25:44] What was my expectation that wasn't met?
[00:25:49] Because facing our depression often means coping with pain that seems a bit too much to
[00:25:55] bear.
[00:25:56] It often can seem overwhelming or frightening which is why if you're going to face in to
[00:26:02] what's causing your depression you need a support system.
[00:26:06] You have to have a good support system.
[00:26:08] You can't do it on your own.
[00:26:11] You might think you can but you really can't.
[00:26:14] Your willingness to heal and to capture your thoughts is one of the hardest things you're
[00:26:20] going to have to do.
[00:26:21] It's one of the hardest things that somebody you know what depression is going to have
[00:26:24] to do.
[00:26:25] About five years ago it was five years ago.
[00:26:29] I went through probably the worst season of my life.
[00:26:32] In 35 years I've been here.
[00:26:35] Probably the worst season in my life.
[00:26:37] I didn't even tell Marie the majority that matter factually found the worst of it last
[00:26:41] night.
[00:26:43] A lot of it was, you know, I felt and again let me really communicate this how I was
[00:26:49] feeling wasn't necessarily reality.
[00:26:52] So this isn't like a blame thing.
[00:26:54] How I felt wasn't reality but I would put on a brave face and suck it up and do what
[00:27:01] I needed to do but I felt so much we just kind of started to church.
[00:27:06] And I felt like everybody expected me to know what I was doing and I can tell you six
[00:27:10] years later I still don't know what I'm doing so don't put that expectation on me.
[00:27:15] Don't do that to me but the pressure is starting to church and there was the practicalities
[00:27:20] at that and then I never really wrote it.
[00:27:22] So I'm going to be forward and writing those and then trying to raise money for the church
[00:27:25] and then trying to raise money for the salary and family and school and just the bond,
[00:27:30] the bondment of endless criticism, just everything from the coffee tits like tea to why do you
[00:27:36] go read when you speak to what's the theological effect of predestination.
[00:27:40] And I don't know, I don't know.
[00:27:43] I just felt like everything was just crushing and everything was just really just pounding
[00:27:52] down on me.
[00:27:53] And honestly about five years ago I was like you know what is it worth it?
[00:27:57] Is it even worth it?
[00:27:59] And going through that and I wasn't cool but well with all of that.
[00:28:04] And then with my own anxiety and mental health stuff I wasn't cool but at all.
[00:28:09] But the thing that kind of sent me over the age was some of you remember this Marie got
[00:28:14] pregnant between but she ended up having a and a topic pregnancy.
[00:28:19] But what I never told people about that situation was before that happened I came home from
[00:28:26] work one day and I'd been out all day and there was people in the house that I remember
[00:28:31] who but I went up to the room and I just remember her lips being blue.
[00:28:35] It was like somebody hired her to hunt the house when she was just as wide as a ghost,
[00:28:40] just as wide as a ghost.
[00:28:42] So I remember we literally had to carry her down the stairs and put her into the car and
[00:28:46] as we're blazing to the hospital we get there and we get into the room and I don't remember
[00:28:56] who the doctor was but I remember it going up on the monitor and all that was on the
[00:29:01] monitor was just a black screen with little heartbeat.
[00:29:06] And her face is what caught me.
[00:29:09] I remember I was standing here and with her left hand she just pushed me out of the way
[00:29:13] and grabbed the phone and said we need to operate in theater right now.
[00:29:17] She had about 20 minutes.
[00:29:19] This was she said before she bled out.
[00:29:22] It was that image, it was the silly things that stick with you.
[00:29:25] With that image and the monitor probably for two or three months I couldn't get that
[00:29:32] image out of my mind.
[00:29:34] That it stayed right in front of me.
[00:29:37] Every time I spoke to somebody, every time I did that image just stayed there for months.
[00:29:44] Got up to the operating theater.
[00:29:45] I was outside obviously.
[00:29:47] And I remember the walkie talkie going and the blood was coming from the region and I remember
[00:29:51] hearing the sirens for some reason.
[00:29:54] And it was that moment that sent me over the edge of hold on.
[00:29:58] We were just went from being pregnant to now everything is going gone.
[00:30:04] And Marie wasn't doing well, she's obviously here so she's fine but you know everything
[00:30:10] else had kind of crumbled, everything else had kind of fallen apart.
[00:30:14] And of course, you know the following day I think this happened on a Friday and Sunday
[00:30:18] and how were you and fine?
[00:30:19] You know and put under face again and just kind of go into the motions.
[00:30:23] I didn't know I was in shock.
[00:30:25] I had no idea I was in shock.
[00:30:28] So she was in hospital for about a week with this but what happened was I still couldn't
[00:30:34] get that image at a computer screen out of my face and I really thought it was gone mad.
[00:30:39] I thought I was going insane, I couldn't get it out.
[00:30:42] But then what really tipped me over the edge and to really severe depression was when
[00:30:48] that shark moved to grief because what I didn't realize was the hospital found me.
[00:30:55] I was like what do you want to do with the bodies?
[00:30:58] I'm going to excuse me and that made me go, it kind of hit me a little bit reality and
[00:31:04] it moved into the grief.
[00:31:06] So I don't know.
[00:31:07] So Marie and I spoke about it briefly, it was very difficult to talk to her about this.
[00:31:12] So we went to the hospital at a friend of mine on the funeral home and I got to get
[00:31:17] the casket, casket and got the babies.
[00:31:21] And we put them in the coffin and we went and got a grave and done everything.
[00:31:28] I didn't tell anybody about this.
[00:31:31] Marie did.
[00:31:34] So we went and we did this.
[00:31:37] And I can remember how many clothes in the casket and the person working there we put
[00:31:43] them in the ground.
[00:31:45] And afterwards I remember walking away and I remember thinking, I think you cover them
[00:31:51] up.
[00:31:52] I think I didn't cover them up.
[00:31:55] And I knew then I would regret it but I didn't realize how much I would because all
[00:32:00] the kept going through my mind especially when it was called out or frost was the babies
[00:32:06] are cold.
[00:32:08] The babies are cold when it's called out they're going to be cold.
[00:32:12] And I kept going through my mind all the time why were the babies cold especially when
[00:32:17] it was frost out.
[00:32:19] And I thought it was going nuts.
[00:32:21] And I couldn't really do anything.
[00:32:22] I was just smiling and then when I wasn't smiling I was crying in my car, I cried to work
[00:32:27] and cried from work and I just can't see this image.
[00:32:30] I was still in front of my mind.
[00:32:32] Now I know I was having a function and breakdown.
[00:32:34] I didn't know that at the time.
[00:32:36] But one day I remember I was praying, I was like God, I don't know how I'm going to deal
[00:32:41] with this.
[00:32:43] I don't know how many months it was later, probably over a year later.
[00:32:46] I get a phone call from a lady and the lady, I had met her maybe once before.
[00:32:53] I didn't know who she was, who really I didn't know.
[00:32:56] And she said you want to meet for a coffee?
[00:32:57] And I said sure.
[00:32:59] So when we met she was shaking when we met.
[00:33:03] And I was thinking all great.
[00:33:06] Yeah.
[00:33:07] Here we go.
[00:33:08] Lord more on me.
[00:33:09] So she uttered words, I've never done this before.
[00:33:14] And I was thinking what are we doing?
[00:33:18] Like I didn't know who she was.
[00:33:21] And she said I've never happened before.
[00:33:26] And I said what's going on?
[00:33:27] She said that for a couple of weeks now I really felt God asking me to do this but it's
[00:33:34] the strangest thing.
[00:33:35] I don't know what it is.
[00:33:37] And I was confused and she was confused and I was like what's wrong?
[00:33:40] And she handed me a bag.
[00:33:42] And in the bag was a blanket.
[00:33:45] And I knew then that it was God just said you have to stop worrying about these kids being
[00:33:51] cold.
[00:33:52] You have to start up, it's okay.
[00:33:55] It's going to be okay because my going around in my mind constantly was the babies
[00:33:58] are cold.
[00:33:59] That's kind of what I clung onto.
[00:34:01] And I was like it's going to be okay.
[00:34:04] But that had sent me into just a spiral of depression and top of the other crap I was
[00:34:09] going through.
[00:34:11] And it was that moment when God really stepped in and said you need to suck it up and
[00:34:15] start facing it into your depression.
[00:34:18] So I did.
[00:34:19] And it was that moment when I started the healing process I would say, and honestly
[00:34:23] I mean it happens more frequently now that I can kind of admit it that even now when
[00:34:29] it's frosty out I get really upset but not depression upset just grieving upset.
[00:34:35] If you're the one to put it word okay upset, I get sad but that's okay because you know
[00:34:40] we're on that journey now to heal it.
[00:34:44] And the reason I'm telling you all this is that was one of my pickles in dealing with depression
[00:34:50] that when people would come to me about stuff the coffee's cold I'd be a frisk to fright.
[00:34:55] I didn't care.
[00:34:57] I didn't care.
[00:34:58] I was the one who knew that it wasn't anyone's fault.
[00:35:00] It was my fault for not sharing with people.
[00:35:03] It was my responsibility to tell people.
[00:35:05] You see we're partners with God and we need to realize this we're partners with God,
[00:35:09] I can't do God's part and he won't do mine.
[00:35:13] And unless we lean into God and walk towards God and asking for help, he can't do anything.
[00:35:18] So let me close out with this, your anxiety or depression or your mental health.
[00:35:25] needs to be dealt with. It has to be dealt with. Now you have two choices. You can deal with it on your
[00:35:32] terms and face it, or you can deal with it on your mental health issues terms which isn't going
[00:35:39] to end well. It isn't going to end well if you do that. I know if I heard this message three years
[00:35:46] ago, I probably would have ignored it. I probably would have ignored it. But the reason I would have
[00:35:53] my feelings weren't reality, but I would have felt like nobody else has gone through this. It's fine.
[00:35:58] I'll just push it down again. So I'm not saying this is easy, but what I am saying is it needs to be
[00:36:04] done because unless we're going to face into it, we can never deal with it. And as a church,
[00:36:10] I don't know what you all are facing. I don't know what you've all been through your heart or
[00:36:14] rejection or pain. I don't know it all. But God knows. God knows exactly what you've been through.
[00:36:21] And we have to take the courage to face into it and to deal with what we're going through because
[00:36:28] I didn't admit it. I knew it, but I didn't admit it. And that's what we need to do. It is open
[00:36:34] up to it. It's not easy to face into pain. I know it. I'm still on that journey of healing
[00:36:39] that pain. I still deal with depression all the time. I know it's not easy. But God is right here
[00:36:45] with us. Listen to what he says in Revelation 21. He says this, this is a promise. He says he will
[00:36:53] wipe away every tear from the eyes and there being no more death, sorrow or crying or pain. And all
[00:37:01] these things are gone forever. What you're experiencing now isn't permanent. It isn't going to last
[00:37:09] forever. It's not always going to be like this. You've a choice. You can start ending it now
[00:37:16] or when we stand before the throne. You can start dealing with it now. As I said, I don't know what
[00:37:24] you're all going through but I can tell you this and I want to reaffirm this. We will never know
[00:37:30] unless you tell us. We will never know what you're going through unless you tell us. And I understand
[00:37:36] that telling us requires trust and trust requires that you know us. And knowing us and requires you
[00:37:42] spending time with us. Get to know us and get to trust us. And then we can share but don't go
[00:37:50] through it alone. Don't believe the lie I believed that you have to go through it alone. Let me
[00:37:55] pray. Lord, we thank You that we know we're not alone. We know it academically. We know it in
[00:38:01] our minds. I pray You help us know it in our hearts. That we don't have to go through the
[00:38:05] sun or on. That you're always with us. You're always around us. You're here to support us. And I
[00:38:11] pray for the courage for everybody here that if they're going through something or know somebody that's
[00:38:15] going through something, that we can have the courage to support each other to feel your presence
[00:38:20] with us. That we never have to face this honor on it and believe the lie of Satan that we're on our
[00:38:25] own in this. That you want to comfort us and you want to heal us. And I pray we have the courage to
[00:38:30] do that. Thanks for listening to Sermon of the Moment on The Good Lion Podcast Network.
[00:38:37] We hope this message encouraged you to find more great content, check out our website
[00:38:42] goodlion.io and if you want to hear more from Pastor Dermott, check out eccclimaric.com.
[00:38:52] Thanks for listening. May the love of Jesus go with you.
[00:38:59] Thanks for listening to Sermon of the Moment on The Good Lion Podcast Network Network.
